Temporary TCKid Home

[Warning: This may be a depressing post. I just feel like I need to let it out and I figure this will be a good place to do that because I think the emotions I am expressing stems from my TCK lifestyle. Thanks for understanding.]

It’s that time of the year in the US – the holiday season bringing friends and families together.

I don’t celebrate Christmas but I celebrate the spirit of getting together with families and friends that one haven’t seen for an entire year.

This year has been exceptionally lonely because the holiday season also falls on my birthday. But this year it happened with me and my boyfriend.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed a wonderful day shared with my boyfriend. It was a wonderful day spent with good food, a good movie and quality time with the one I love, but time flies when you’re having fun, before you know it it’s over.

In previous years I shared it with my friends – but this year, is the first year that I don’t have my friends with me. Ever since I’ve been back in CT I haven’t really been sociable and because of a busy life this past year just haven’t been able to do much aside for my own stuff.

I miss my friends tremendously and this year has just been a tad bit depressing.

I have received warm wishes from my friends from far away via Facebook but in the end it’s just not the same as being together physically. I’m not saying it’s not good enough, I was happy, it made my day, but it’s not the same.

As much as Facebook has helped me reconnect with friends from long ago, in the end it’s still not the same when you are not physically there together. I guess at this day and age people are embracing technology for convenience and have no problems with just sending an ecard or an electronic greeting to someone far away.

For me, I’ve spent all my life sending greetings to someone who isn’t with me physically, I yearn for that close proximity. I think it’s also because I am getting older.

I miss the surprise get-together; I miss planning parties with friends; I miss opening up presents with friends; I miss just goofing off and making jokes about getting old; I’m tired of being away from others; I’m tired of not seeing my friends when I want to; I’m tired of being lonely.

I hate loneliness.

(I just a surprise gift from my brother – he lives with me now – because he wasn’t around at my birthday and I had thought he didn’t want to be there. But now I don’t want to open it because I don’t want that feeling to be over so soon.)